Pamela (not pictured) is a second-year medical student at Jagiellonian University in Krakow, Poland. We met in 2003 while completing our undergraduate studies, our diverse interests serving as a platform for attending random events. In her free time, Pamela enjoys watching telenovelas, quoting Borat, sending postcards, and exploring the field of photography with Chris, the love of her life. Together with her cousin (also not pictured), Pamela and I spent the past 3 days in Lviv, Ukraine.
Pamela: I would just like to clarify that I watch one telenovela, Aurora to keep up my Spanish – and I highly recommend it! The creativity that goes into those plots should be saved for another blog.
Tim: So on our little excursion to Lviv, we dodged a persistent tram inspector, enjoyed some bad acting from a band syncing to music at the opera house, bypassed herds of aggressive cigarette smugglers at the Poland-Ukraine border, had a late-night conversation with a drunken Ukrainian soldier at a pizza restaurant, and gazed in awe at the number of women wearing high heels. One of my many enduring images of this trip will be of seeing you skillfully bolt toward the tram driver and off the tram as the inspector carefully verified that each person had a validated ticket.
P: Yes, good times. I’m not convinced that young intoxicated man was indeed a soldier. He said lots of weird things. In the trams, you buy tickets directly from the driver. As a result, there are usually a lot of people near the front. Sometimes people pass up money from the back, going off the honor system, expecting a ticket to be passed back to them. In our case, we only received two tickets, although we paid for three. Of course, the one time we are without a ticket, a tram inspector comes around checking tickets. I ran to the front, in hopes to buy a ticket, but realized that the tram was about to stop at our destination. So I jumped off instead. I paid, I swear! I want to know who was the jerk who either stole our money or our ticket! Overall, we found most people to be very nice and helpful, but not this time.
T: It’s a good thing we’re not sitting in a Ukrainian prison right now. How about the concert at the Lviv Opera House? I've never seen so many fake performers at a concert. However, it was quite a patriotic night overall - Ukraine is certainly proud of finally being an independent country.
P: Ah yes, good old андрій заліско (whom we will refer to as Andrej). That was some experience! We bought tickets (~12 Euro/ticket) to the show without knowing what it was, since all we wanted was to see a performance. The show was delayed almost 20 minutes. Finally, the curtain rises – we see a smoky stage with two female backup singers, and a male band consisting of two guitars, a drummer, and a keyboardist. On the screen, scenes of bubbles. Then, Andrej appears, singing. Only later in the show, due to the erratic behavior of one of the guitars, did I notice something was off. You know how someone air guitars, or uses a prop to fake air guitar –they really exaggerate their motions, jump around, etc? That’s what he looked like. Later I looked at the other “instrumentalists” and confirmed with you that they were all fake playing! The keyboardist seemed to do the same few hand movements, the guitars kept the same drums with the same rhythm, and so on. I wonder how many others in the audience noticed that. Concert highlights included the folk dancing done by children, choreographed dancing done by backup dancers, and best of all, acrobats who did fine feats during one of the songs. What was your favorite part of the show?
T: My favorite part was …I’m not sure. My enduring memory will be that of seeing the fake musicians in the background!
So...the border...the first and last time either of us crosses a border by foot.
P: YES. It takes me to a bad place to think about it. The low behavior of so many people is an embarrassment to all of humankind. Fortunately, by waving our Polish & American passports to the border patrol, we received special treatment (being pulled from the “rift raft” to get through the line faster). There is some major funky business in that area. The night train is the way to go- stay in bed & hand your passport to the border control who come to your cabin! What did you find on you research of the issue?
T: I found that many Ukrainians smuggle cigarettes for a living across the border. In 2007, the Schengen Zone extended to Poland, leaving many Ukrainians waiting days for visas, then waiting days to cross the border! The border patrol, unhappy with the extra work, went on strike. Ukrainians are unhappy that they are treated as second-class citizens in the efforts to create a “united” Europe through the Schengen zone.
P: Wow, you type like a keyboard player! Such emphasis!
T: Well, at least I’m typing for real, not keyboard-syncing!
I enjoyed convincing the drunk guy at the pizza place that I'm
Jamaican. I wonder if he's writing about us on his blog?!
P: Unlikely, but he and the rest of the people in the restaurant will probably remember you for a while. It was surprising how many people told us that we were the first Americans (or Poles) they’ve met. This makes Lviv a really special place to visit – it’s not geared for tourists, instead you can experience it like a local. But if you visit, we recommend the 3 hour walking tour!
T: And speaking of walking…high heels on cobblestone streets...those Ukrainian women definitely make an effort to stay fashionable!
P: I may go as far as to say that Ukraine has some of the most beautiful women in Europe! Many of them are very pretty, slim, stylish, and graceful in very high heels. My gym shoes, albeit comfortable, definitely stuck out. For as many women in heels, there’s just about as many men in uniform.
T: I agree that Ukrainian women are beautiful. There’s a good reason that Google searches of Ukraine result in many advertisements regarding single Ukrainian women seeking husbands.
As always, great to travel with you. I'm now reminded of those 5 British seniors at the breakfast buffet, each carrying a different guidebook, organizing and planning their trip with a rigor and efficiency that comes with years of travel experiences. Someday, that'll be us.
P: Indeed! Instead of a multi-hour walking tour, maybe we’ll use motorized wheelchairs? That way I’ll be able to have 3 inch stiletto heels on!
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